Laser Dutch Auction (LDA)
Comes into play with 20 Cost tokens on it. Destroy a Cost token, or LDA, at the beginning of your turn. Any player may buy LDA, during his/her turn, by paying you one Money token for each Cost token on LDA.
Action: Destroy a Cost token to destroy target nonliving Thing.
Action Destroy 2 Cost tokens to destroy target living Thing.
Variable Activity Level
At the beginning of your turn, roll a d6 or destroy this. If you rolled the die, subtract 1 and take that many Action/Thing plays this turn. Odd plays are Things, even plays are Actions. If you rolled a 1, destroy this. If this is destroyed, any player may claim it. If more than one claim it, roll a die to determine the new owner.
Expected value 1.5 Things, 1 Action.
This counts as a money token. You may use abilities that require you to destroy one money token for free.
Action: shuffle a thing you control into the draw pile and create a money token.
Discard to prevent an action of living thing. When played as an action destroy a money token.
Reaction - Evil
Play in response to another player's Action. Choose a Thing belonging to that Player. That player either destroys the Thing or prevents the Action.
Action:Give control of Golden Apple to a random opponent and take an extra turn.
When this is destroyed, put a Watermelon Juice Token on every thing in play.
If you can eat one without getting it all over yourself, you're doing it wrong.
Whenever a card is discarded or destroyed, its controller or discarder draws a card at the end of the turn, unless doing so would cause this effect to recur infinitely.
"Why should I care about what I am next time? I still don't know what I am this time!"
-Gonzo The Great
The Void Flows Through Me
Cards that are removed from the game go into your hand instead.
You win, if when you play this, you control "Hungry Ghost" and "Bishop Pin" while an opponent controls "When me and Grandpa used to Hunt Dinosaurs", and an opponent (maybe the same one) controls exactly 17 Money tokens. Otherwise, draw a card, and play another Action.
As deck size -> infinity, the probability of this happening goes to 0
For every non token thing with a corner value in play draw a card then for every non token thing without a corner value in play discard a card.
Take control of all things with corner values
You may play this on another player. At the beginning of your turn discard a card. At the end of your turn discard a card if able otherwise destroy this card.
There is much hate in you
Inexorably Advancing Wall Of Ice
Every 1000 turns, you may destroy target thing. Destroy this if Global Warming is in play.
With credit to xkcd.
Put all living things in the discard pile.
Who's that bell tolling for?
Play in response to an opponent's action destroying a non-blue thing. Destroy all things, each player discards his hand, and eliminate the player who played the previous action.
Should've cut the blue wire.
Whenever an opponent plays a Thing during their turn, the turn ends.
You may destroy this in response to an Action to prevent that Action.
You may take an extra action during each of your turns. When you take the extra action, discard a card at random.
You May Already Be a Winner
If this card is ever indestructible, it is also uneditable. You win, if you control Hungry Ghost and Bishop Pin while opponent(s) control When me and Grandpa used to Hunt Dinosaurs, and The Red Wheelbarrow
Action Edit this card to change a boldface Thing name to the name of another Thing that is not now in play.
But probably not.
Look at the top 15 cards of the draw pile. If any of them are Things, put one of them into play. Then shuffle the draw pile.
You may play this into the control of any player
Whenever you play a Thing, swap two tokens of different types belonging to different players if possible.
Play in response to another player destroying one of your Things. They give you two cards from their hand.
At the end of your turn, create an Energy Token on this card.
Remove X Energy Tokens:
X=2: Draw a card.
X=3: Play an extra Action
X=5: Take an extra turn.
X=X: Gain X Energy Tokens (not on this card).
Play at any time. Counter an Action or put a Thing in the discard pile.
Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder
Players may not look at cards they draw or at their hands. If a player would play a card, they play a random card instead. All targets are chosen randomly. Unless this came into play this turn, destroy this thing at the end your turn.
Do what the title says.
When this comes into play, gain control of all tokens of any one type.
Thing: Discard a card, destroy this and make three copies of a Thing named "Mech Worker" from the Infinite Dvorak Deck archive and put them into play.
It's on page 19
When this card comes into play, return it to your hand.
When this comes into play replace the rules text with a thing in play, if there are no things in play then the rules text is now blank
"What's the deal? If I stop too quick you'll bump into me" -Bub
Calmer Heads Will Prevail
If you have more money tokens then everybody else put together you win otherwise collect 10 money tokens.
Action: Destroy 5 zombie tokens put a thing in play into your hand.
"I ain't taking my car there" -Bub
Action: Destroy a Thing which refers to a token or Thing type that is not currently in play, and draw five cards.
Thing - Worker Unit
Action:Move a random card in the discard pile to your hand.
When you play this, choose an opponent. If they are eliminated, you are also eliminated.
Action:Use the Action ability of a Thing belonging to the chosen player.
Whenever an opponent reads this, they discard a card.
Dvorak:Shouldn't you be working now?
Create a new player named The Juggernaut. This player immediately destroys all things and removes himself from the game.
Dude, who was that guy?
When you play this card, throw it and announce that the last one to touch it is eliminated. Don't tell them you're lying. Take an extra turn.
Dear Reader: He was lying.
The Oldest Trick In The Book
Exchange the control of two things.
^The Book, Vol. 1, pg. 5
Campaign for Conformity
If you control at least 10 Things, and all of your Things have the same name, you win the game.
Destroy any number of your tokens. Choose a Thing in the discard pile with a number of words in its name equal to the number of tokens you destroyed and put it into play.
To keep your universe running smoothly even if the primary Keystone goes down.
Replace the voices with light
Destroy all living things, create an energy for each thing destroyed.
Discard this card when you use a destroy effect, pick 2 targets instead of one. When played as an action destroy 2 living things.
Discard this card when an action would be blocked, Blocked action proceeds. When played as an action destroy a living thing.
Change one word on a Thing's Action ability until the end of the turn. Then use that Action ability once.
Whenever a player draws a card, Auto-Nuker destroys all of their Things
Your opponents' maximum hand size is reduced by the number of Nodes you control.
All players may use the discard pile as a draw pile but must take 2 cards when they do.
I'll buy that card too -Bub
Screw all ya all
Every player except you discards their hand, if they had no cards in thier hand destroy all things they control instead.
If I can hit it say hunh.
Before revaling this card to play say the title of the card aloud as fast as you can, every player who questions what you said destroys a thing they control. in an online game a random player destroys a thing they control.
Action:Destroy a thing with a zero in its cornervalue.
Action:Decrease all numbers in target Thing's cornervalue by one.
When Bottled Surprise is destroyed, draw three cards and immediately play them.
Be careful, it might be radioactive.
Change target Thing's text to "Any player may spend a token to destroy this at any time".
That wasn't supposed to happen
Replace a thing with a Stone Token.
If an opponent would cause you to reveal this card from your hand, they are eliminated.
With credit to xkcd.
Bottled Zombie Gas
When this is destroyed, Replace all living things in play with Zombie Tokens.
And you thought Bottled Fart was gross.
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, its controller gains two Tokens of its element (if it had one) or one Token of one of the following types of their choice: Fire, Water, Ice, Earth, Air, Void, or Energy.
Choose a Target Thing
Reduce the text's syllables
To just seventeen.
As the ducks fly South/Eliminated players/Kick target winner.
Action: Destoy all zombie tokens you control reveal a card from the draw pile for every zombie token destroyed, put things into you hand, discard the rest.
"I just don't trust them" -Bub
Whenever a living thing is destroyed put a body token on killing fields. Action (global): Destroy a body token create a zombie token
The wind whispers of fear and hate. The war has killed love. And those that confess to the Angka are punished, and no one dare ask where they go. Here, only the silent survive. -Dith Pran
Screw your neighbor
In turn order All players destroy a thing of the next player.
Whenever anyone plays an Action card, they must draw and reveal a card; if it's an Action, they must play it immediately. Otherwise, they must discard it.
Other players' cards cannot target the player with the fewest cards in his hand or that player's things.
I stand on the shoulders of the midgets who came before me.
Create and play a Thing with the same text and tile as target Thing but with a cornervalue of 'R2'
Remove yourself from the game. You may return to the game at any later time before it ends. You retain any Things in play and cards in hand you had when you left.
Put over a living thing it considered blank Action: You may destroy this card by destroying 10 therapy tokens. Action and Thing: create a therapy token.
Attach to a living thing, it gains the following rules text Action: Create an obsessive token.
Action: Destroy this card and all day tokens to take aditional action for every day token destroyed Thing: create day token.
Elemental Jewel of Earth
Things with Earth tokens on them cannot be destroyed
Action:Gain an Earth token
Action:Move an Earth Token onto a non-Jewel Thing.
Earth, protect my kin
At the start of your turn, destroy this, then draw one card for every card by Bucky in the discard pile that has a cornervalue in number-letter format.
In an order of your choosing, roll a six-sided die for each non-Token Thing on the table. Stop if you roll a six, and destroy the Thing you were rolling for.
Choose a number and an opponent. That opponent gives that number of things they control to other players.
Thing - Universe
Things go to the discard pile when played. Things that are discarded may be put into play instead.
Destroy effects may target Things in the discard pile. A Thing destroyed in this way is returned to play under its destroyer's control.
If you would be targeted by an action, destroy Goalie and prevent that action.
For the record, this a Soccer/Football Goalie, not Hockey.
Any attempt to edit a card's text requires the player to pay for the red ink in one of these ways: (1) discard an Action from hand (2) destroy a red Thing he/she controlls (3) sacrificing a Money token.
If a card demands an edit and its controller can't pay for the red ink, either the card is destroyed or the player's other Things are destroyed, by vote of the player's opponents.
If you ever take four turns in a row, you win the game.
At the end of your turn, you may discard three cards and destroy two of your Tokens to take an extra turn.
If you ever control 12 Energy Tokens at the start of your turn, you win the game.
Action:Gain an Energy Token
Look at an opponent's hand - take a Thing card from it (if there's one there) and put it into play under your control.
Coins on Elastic
If you ever discard a card, return it to your hand immediately.
Remove all living things in play with destroy effects from the game shuffle them deal one to every player.
Ring of Dark Errie Vaporous Etheralness
Attach to a living thing, they can't be the target of destroy effects.
"There is no limit to how many redundant adjectives you can have." - Corrigan
Out of thin Air
Put a copy of a non thing non action card from the Archive into play
Red Herring and FNORD come to mind
Do You Feel Lucky, Punk?
Whenever an opponent plays an Action, you may discard a card from your hand. If it's an Action card, negate the effects of their Action.
If an opponent plays an Action card which you have already seen being played or have seen in their hand, earlier this game, then its card text is considered to be blank.
If there are five more Water tokens than Sandbag tokens in play, destroy all Things. Action: Put a Sandbag or Water token into play. Any player may play this ability.
When you play this, draw two cards.
Each player's score is equal to the number of Tokens they control, plus five times the number of other Things they control, plus five times the number of cards in their hand.
Eliminate a player whose score is less than yours by at least 50. Any player may use this Action.
Action: Destroy a token, if there are more tokens of a single different type in play.
If you ever control 10 Fire Tokens at the start of your turn, you win the game.
Whenever you destroy an opponent's Thing or make an opponent discard a card, gain a Fire token.
If you ever control 15 Money Tokens at the start of your turn, you win the game.
At the start of each of your turns, gain a Money token.
You may play this on another player, whenever a living thing you control uses an ability replace the card with a Zombie token.
"You OK? You don't look so good Ted" -Ted's ex Friend
Action (global): destroy all your money tokens with a minimum of 10. Create a copy of a magic related card from the archive.
Ray guns are not magic -Ducky
Whenever an opponent creates token, This card does too. Whenever an opponent destroy tokens they own so do you, if you cannot destroy the right kind of token you may substitute a different type otherwise destroy this card.
If you ever control 20 Things at the start of your turn, you win the game.
Thing:Gain a Token.
Your maximum hand size is increased by 2.
If any player has 10 or more cards in their hand, they win the game.
Pocket Mulching II: Attack of the Vegans
Remove target card in the discard pile from the game. Gain a Mulch token. If you control three Mulch tokens, you win the game.
Oh, it's so decomposed!
When you play a card with a corner value, you may choose a number in that card's corner value. If you do, gain that many tokens of any type of your choice.
It works using the most advanced shoobulatative principles.
The Big Book of Pirate Insults
Action: Gain an Insult token.
Action: Roll an eight-sided die. If your roll is less than or equal to the number of Insult tokens you control, destroy target Thing.
You fight like a dairy farmer!
Draw as many cards as there are players. Give one card to each opponent, from the cards you just drew.