Thing - Party Member
In immediate response to any Thing being put into play, destroy one Not On The List token to return that Thing to its owner's hand. Action: Put one Not On The List token into play.
The Horn Of Heaven
Play this card onto any Thing. That Thing cannot be destroyed while The Horn Of Heaven is in play.
You may not draw cards at the start of your turn. Action: Give this Thing to any opponent.
If you are the only player with cards in hand, win the game. Otherwise, take up to two cards at random from another player's hand.
Action:Target player must give you either a card from their hand or a Thing they control. If they cannot, they skip their next turn instead and destroy this.
At the start of each turn flip a coin. If it comes up heads, gain an Energy token.
Action: Discard a card at random (if you have any in your hand), then draw a card.
This card and cards on it may not be destroyed. Action: Place a card from your hand on this card. Action: Place all cards on this card into your hand and remove this card from the game.
You may take an additional thing action for turn.
Everyone discards their hands and destroys all things they have in play, then draws an amount of cards equal to the number of cards they discarded.
Draw an extra card at the beginning of your turns. Your hand size limit is increased by one.
Draw three cards and attach them to Caddy, face-down. Action: Exchange one card in your hand with one card attached to Caddy.
Play in immediate response to any player being eliminated to nullify their elimination; instead, they discard randomly down to one card and all of their Things are destroyed.
Draw two cards. This card may be played during anyone's turn.
Play in response to a player being eliminated. You may look through their hand and take as many cards as they want. Then proceed with the elimination.
Play in response to the destruction of one of your things. Throw the card at your opponent. Then draw a card and play another thing from your hand.
Form of the Shark
At the end of your turn, if you have not played a card that turn, you are eliminated. Action: Destroy a Thing other than this one.
At the end of every player's turn, a random player discards one card randomly and draws a card.
Discard a number of cards equal to the number of opponents. Then take one Thing from every opponent and put it under your control.
Play only if you have no undead Things. Put 20 Zombie tokens into play under your control.
Put a Thing from the discard pile into play under any player's control.
Everything Must Go
At the start of each player's turn, before drawing, that player must play a random card, if they have one in their hand. This counts towards their Action/Thing limit for the turn.
On their next turn, target opponent draws once and discards once, playing nothing.
Comes into play with 3 Solanum Research tokens on it. At the beginning of your turn, destroy one Solanum Research token; if you can't, create 10 Vaccine tokens. Action: Destroy any number of Vaccine tokens to destroy an equal number of Zombie tokens.
Play in response to another Action. That Action takes effect as if it reads "Destroy one of your Things at random."
Action:This card gains the text "Action: Destroy target Thing" until the end of the turn.
Whenever you become the target of an Action, destroy Flash Powder and prevent that Action.
Every player receives three Monster tokens. At the end of your turn, flip a coin for each of your Monster tokens. Heads: destroy one of your Monster tokens; tails: destroy one of your non-token Things. When Lunar Cry is removed from play, destroy one Thing for every Monster token you still have.
The Needs Of The Many
Play immediately in response to any Action that has an effect on one player; that card affects all other players instead.
If Hot Potato is played, destroy it immediately; if Hot Potato is played or discarded, lose a turn. Thing: Give Hot Potato to target opponent.
May play on another Player. Your maximum hand size is decreased by one. Owner may discard a card to avoid an action or action ability effect.
Owner may take any number of actions. All Action abilities may only be played once per turn.
Q: How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb.
A: Lets go ride bikes.
FlashMob Super Computer
Only one of this cards action abilities may be played each turn. Owners Hand size increases by one for every node token in play, The number of actions per turn for the owner increases by one for every program token in play. Programs my not excceed nodes
Action: Create a node token.
Action: Create a program token.
Revolution Of The Stars
Every player gives one card from their hand to every other player. If any player has fewer cards than opponents, they must draw up to the correct number, distribute them, and then discard down to their previous hand size.
Name two Things in the control of target opponent; your opponent decides which one gets destroyed.
Whenever you discard a card or any of your non-token Things is destroyed, create a Potential Energy token. During your turn, destroy two Potential Energy tokens to play an extra Thing.
Play onto another Thing. When you do, rename that Thing. Neither Plot Significance nor the card it's played on can be destroyed until the other is.
All of target Thing's controllers must destroy it, or discard two cards, or eliminate themselves from the game.
Destroy up to six tokens belonging to the same player.
Destroy target Thing so much harder than Falcon Punch that its controller discards a random card.
If Sandbag would be destroyed, return it to your hand instead.
Full Bar of Star Power
If you would be eliminated while this is in play, instead destroy this, discard your hand, and you cannot lose until 4 turns have ended.
pressure sensitive switch
May be played on another player. If owner plays a non living thing they destroy pressure sensitive switch and a random living thing. Face down cards count as generic things with no text<br\>Thing: flip a card face down.<br\>Action: flip a card face up.
"What does this do?"
May be played on another player. If owner plays a living thing they trigger Big red button's action ability.Action: Destroy random thing.
"What does this do?"
May be played on another player. If owner plays a living thing they trigger one of Wall lever's abilities<br\>Thing: Roll a die if 1 create a food token.<br\>Action: Roll a die if 6 create money token.
"What does this do?"
Dramatic Chorale Singing
For 3 turn cycles after this card is played, nobody may play a card. After that, every player must play a Thing. Whenever an Action is played, double any numerical values in its text ('a' and 'an' are considered to be '1').
The stakes are higher! The tension is ratcheted! The drama is maxed! The Oscar is in the bag!
When you play an Action, you may destroy Amphibian Eyeball. If you do, increase any numerical values in the Action's text by one ('a' and 'an' are considered to be '1').
Take a Gamble
Draw a card from a standard pack of playing cards (without jokers). If the card was a diamond, make money tokens equal to the card's number. If the card was a spade, draw cards equal to the card's number. If the card was a club, destroy random Things equal to the card's number. If the card was a heart, each opponent draws cards equal to the card's number.
Flip a coin when you play this card. If tails, destroy it and discard your hand. If heads, you may carefully play it into any player's control. If that player gains or loses control of any non-token Things, all of their Things are destroyed.
Destroy all Things that modify any player's hand size limit or card-drawing capability. Every player's maximum hand size is five and every player may draw once at the beginning of their turn.
Little Green Men
Steal a random card from target opponent's hand.
Whenever you play a card, gain a Receipt token.
Once per turn, you may return this to your hand. If you do, you may play an extra Thing that turn.
Destroy up to 20 of your tokens. Draw cards equal to half of the number of tokens you destroyed, rounding down.
Charity Tax Break
Action: Give a Thing you control to an opponent, and draw a card.
Universal Remote Control
Action: Choose target Thing and an Action ability of that Thing. Its controller uses that ability..
Lvl. 76 Black Mage
Action - Megaflare: Target player takes 9999 damage.
Too bad that doesn't do anything.
Your maximum hand size is reduced by two.
Action: Give an opponent The Finger.
The card, not the gesture.
Campaign for Diversity
If at the start of your turn you control three other non-token Things and three Tokens of different types, and there are at least three cards in your hand and three in the discard pile, you win the game.
Destroy target Thing with no cornervalue.
Terrain - External Site
Action: Play an Action from the top of the discard pile. Put a card from your hand on top of the draw pile.
In the shifting zones, one moment can be forever.
Card by Zaratustra, ported by Bucky
Everytime you loose a turn draw a card.
Attach to a non token living thing That thing is now a zombie. If thing has an action ability add the following to the actions text "Flip a coin if tails action does nothing."
destroy all your money tokens to play.<br\>Thing: create a drawing token.<br\>Action: destroy 5 drawing tokens to create one money token.
Enough Zombies Already!
Destroy all zombies and zombie-related cards. Each player reveals their hand. Each player with the most cards (min. 1) that refer to zombies is eliminated.
Make a band name and name four real songs. This card's title becomes the band name. Create four tokens with the names of the named songs.
Bu boz ujnf, boz qmbzfs nbz tbz "Dszqupefupobujpo".
Jg uifz ep, uijt dbse't dpouspmmfs jt fmjnjobufe.
Card by DijqqzZZA
Prevents one of the controller’s things from being destroyed. But, its self is always vulnerable.
Winds of Change
All players exchange their hands with the person to their right.
As long as there is a living thing in the discard pile you may use Shallow grave's action ability.<br\>Action:Create Zombie token.
Roll a die and if it is 4 or higher you can draw 3 cards.
Card by Lost card resurrected by gill_smoke
Every time you destroy a nonliving thing draw a card.
For each non-Reflection Thing you control, gain a Reflection token.
Action:Gain a Money token.
Play onto any card. While Quotation Marks is attached to a card, treat that card as if all of its text is part of its title and it has no ruletext.
Every turn, you may draw or play an extra card or activate an extra Action ability. If Stimpack is destroyed, lose a turn.
The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
Draw three cards. Play one of them, discard another, and give the last to an opponent.
Target opponent discards their hand. In sympathy, every other player donates a card to them.
Play this onto two things, at least one of which you control. Those Things and this are considered to be one Thing that you control. Create a name for this new thing. Its text is the text of both of the things, except that you use the new name where either refers to itself by name.
If this this card would be destroyed, throw it across the room instead.
When your hand is empty, destroy IndestructoTank, ignoring its indestrctibility. You can still throw it if you want, though.
Action: Destroy a thing and flip a coin. On heads, activate this ability again, targeting a random thing.
Four Leaf Clover
Whenever something is decided by chance (dice, coins, etc.), you may reroll, reflip, etc. once, and pick which result to use.
Sleeping With The Fishes
Send target Thing to the bottom of the discard pile.
Zealous English Teacher
Thing - Party Member
Draw a card whenever anyone plays a card that contains a spelling, grammar, or punctuation mistake.
Personal Force Field
Your other Things may not be destroyed and opponents may not play any Things into your control. If you play a Thing, destroy Personal Force Field.
Screw the Rules, I Have Money!
Action: Place a nickel on this card to destroy a thing, or a dime to negate an action. When this card is destroyed, whoever destroyed it may take all of the money on it.
ChippyYYZ, The Forbidden One
Once during your turn, you may reveal this and four other cards by ChippyYYZ from your hand to win the game.
While Evil Council is in play, all players must talk with Slavic accents. If a player does not talk with a Slavic accent, eliminate him/her.
Action: Each player chooses one Thing and destroys it.
Eliminate the least physically attractive player from the game. Vote if unsure.
"We must keep the race pure!"
Ilgogtilatyu, choi sapot gye-ad tshidz sagidz tezht vesaidze it idz pot il a ge-ai yalfyafe. Ig choi soid ge-ad it, shish choi sapt, choi shoid klosh tshat choi naje shop tshe samye vu digashilf tshidz sagid.
"I klosh, mu obzedziol shitsh otsheg yalfiafyedz setz gye-aiyu aplochilf. Tigu zereiyilf it il sugiyis."
Bucket of Water Balloons
Action: Name a Thing in play and roll a die. 1: Miss. 2-4: Target Thing is removed from play until the conclusion of your next turn to dry off. 5-6: Target Thing is soaked and destroyed.
Once during your turn, you may place a card from your hand face-down onto Sacrificial Altar. Action: Destroy any number of these cards at once. Destroy 3 cards: play an extra Thing. Destroy 6 cards: Target opponent discards their hand. Destroy 10 cards: You win the game.
Language In-Crowd: Spanish Edition!
Acción: Descarta algunas cartas y repártate la misma cantidad de cartas de la baceta. Draw a card.
Non English cards are considered blank.<br\>
"Speak English or go home." -Bub
Swap rules text on any two cards with corner values.<br\>
No that goes over here
When this comes into play it is considered to be a copy of one non livng thing in play.
Action: Create a Scum Token.
Action: Create a Villainy Token.
"Play It Again, Sam."
Target player plays a copy of the last card they played that isn't this one.
Bogart never actually said this.
Do Something! Anything!
Go to a random Subsection of the Infinite Dvorak Deck. Treat this card as a copy of the first Action card on that page.
Stop playing this game, go to Rifftrax.com and download an view a rifftrax. Then come back, accuse Atticus of blatant advertising, and destroy a card. Whoever payed for the rifftrax may also destroy a card.
"Rifftrax makes everything better. Like beer." -Atticus
Thing - Character
At the beginning of every player's turn, create a Progress token. If there are ever more Progress tokens than Level tokens in play, destroy all Progress tokens and create a Level token.