Some card ideas for infinite D.
All Things have name "Anonymous", creator "Anonymous" and are controlled by all players.
"You're wearing a mask? Grow up, dude!" - Bub
Do whatever the fuck you want.
Who said life was fair?
GNU General Public License
Action: Any player may use this Action. Create a copy of this Thing under your control.
Action: Change a word of this Thing's text other than the first Action ability.
You may play this under target player's control. If an opponent ever sees your cards, you are eliminated.
Action: Destroy target human.
"I will create the perfect world."
If you ever see an opponent's hand, eliminate that opponent.
"The probability that you are Kira is 5%."
Thing - Nuisance
Play this as soon as possible. As long as you control this, you cannot play Things.
"You're begging for him to finally write her f***ing name into the Death Note and in the end it just doesn't happen. Makes me wanna smash my head against the wall." - My mate Don
Action: Destroy target human. (If you wish, you may also specify how the person dies. Defaults to heart-attack.)
Oracle of Delphi
Look at the top five cards of the deck and rearrange their order as you wish.
Browse through the deck and take a card you want. Then shuffle the deck.
"Just Fucking Google It!"
Not added yet
Poet Laureate of Evil
Play this as soon as possible. You may add any sentences (not single words) to this card's text as long as they do not contain the letters "e" or "i". Five minutes after this has been played you are eliminated, even if this Thing has been destroyed or removed.
You cannot be forced to discard cards.
You cannot be forced to discard cards.
Action or Thing: Take a Thing you control back into your hand.
Thing: Play a Thing from your hand under target player's control.
Opponents may not play Things under your control. Living and undead Things you control cannot be targeted.
When this comes into play, destroy all Things you control but two. Then replace XXX in this card's text with any adjective. If a player controls four or more XXX Things, she wins the game.
Play onto target Thing. Equipped Thing is male now.
I Want To WIN!!!!!!
Draw up to five cards. Destroy target Thing. Take control of any amount of target Things. Take up to three Actions.
May only be destructed by Fire, Destiny, Greeks or Rhodos Feta Salami Sandwiches. You may play Actions and Things from your hand as if your opponents played them.
Return of Chtulhu
When this comes into play create a "Strawberry Pinky" token. If there are fifteen or more of these tokens in play, eliminate all opponents. When this card goes to the discard pile, it goes immediately back to play under the control of the last controller. Action: Destroy this card.
Obviously Chtulhu likes Strawberry Candy, too.
Play onto target Thing. Equipped thing's text is ignored. Kudzu cannot be destroyed by living Things.
Settlers of Catan
Players may negotiate and freely exchange Things and cards between each other.
Indestructible. You cannot win.
Action: Destroy target Thing.
Action: Draw a card.
Play onto target Thing. Equipped Thing cannot be targeted except by you.
Huge Distracting Cleavage
Opponents cannot play Things that have Action abilities.
It's like the sun: you can look at it, but it's dangerous to stare.
ЯUꙄꙄIⱯи LⱻTTⱻЯ ЯOTⱯTIиG ꟽⱯꟻIⱯ
At any time you may rotate any characters on any cards in play or on Actions that are just being played. Rotate by 180 degrees only. Rotate only if the resulting word/number makes sense. (Valid transformations include: d-P, d-p, M-W, m-w, b-q, u-n.)
Action: Create a Thing with name and text "Yon miu" under target opponent's control.
Action: Restart the game.
Big Red Button
Action: Eliminate all players.
"I told you NOT to push it!"
ꝆↂṜↁ ꝋⅎ ṯḧⱻ Ừṉḯḉₒḑꜫ
Ⅱⅎ ẏΘν ƱŊƊɇŘşƬΔɳĐ ͲᾜῚš, ƉŖᴬẅ ťŵŏ ƆǠʁɖŜ.
Queen of the Dark Throne
May only be destroyed by vampire hunters, ponies, ninja garden roast beef, and purple cards. You may only play vampires and undeads.
Action: Draw 50 cards.
Ninja Garden Roast Beef
You are considered to control an infinite amount of snack tokens (food).Action: If today is friday (in your time zone), destroy target Queen.
Action: Discard your hand. Gain control of target non-living Thing.
Do I look like Sasha Grey?
Ask target opponent if you can slap her face (before showing this card), and act according to the answer:
"yes" -> Slap her face.
"no" -> Destroy all Things she controls.
"Are you crazy?" or similar -> She discards her hand.
This card's title or similar -> You lose the game.
Something else -> You draw a card.
Play this in response to an Action. Temporarily change a word in the Action's text before it takes place.
Bad Kernel Update
Target opponent loses next turn.
"Linux *does* have freezes. It just has them for fancier reasons than Windows." - Don
Max the Maximal
Your hand size limit is 3,3 trillions.
Porn Actress Body
Play onto target Thing. Equipped Thing has: "Action: Gain control of target dick."
Infinity + 1
This counts as an infinite amount of Things + 1 Thing. If another player controls an infinite amount of Things, you still control more Things than her.
"If I am stupid, then you are two times stupid."
"Well ... you are three times stupid!"
"Hey ... that's not fair ..."
"Four times! My number's always one greater than yours!"
"You are infinitely stupid! There is no higher number than that! In your face!"
"You are infinitely + 1 stupid."
The House of Excess and Sodomy
Things you control may use their abilities, no matter what any other card says.
Think of it as the orgy scene in "Eyes Wide Shut" plus a chicken farm, only the chickens are people. Thought of it? You aren't even halfway there!
Thing - Goal
Play this as soon as possible. May only be destroyed by psychology-related cards.
If a player controls six or more identical Things or if she controls twelve or more identically named Things, she wins the game.
Simple Basic Program
if cards_in_your_hand < 5 then draw_a_card else end
Because of security restrictions this Thing cannot use its Action abilities.
Action: Eliminate target opponent.
***WARNING. Offensive card. If you don't like, shred to pieces and redraw.*** It's not r**e, just surprise sex! Yeeey! Draw random card from opponent. I'm sure he likes it, I mean, he doesn't wear any underwear, right? Know what? Take another random card from him. He likes it for sure!
"Just think of it as the Japanese way of saying hello."
You cannot play this from your hand unless it is Friday 13th (in your time-zone).
Action: Eliminate target player (and very cruelly so).
Ninja Fromage Fox Ghost Pirates
Action: Destroy this to play two extra Actions.
Action: Destroy Pirate Fromage Fox Ghost Ninjas.
"Death to all Pirate Fromage Fox Ghost Ninjas!"
Pirate Fromage Fox Ghost Ninjas
Action: Destroy this to play two extra Things.
Action: Destroy Ninja Fromage Fox Ghost Pirates.
"We are legion! We are Pirate Ninjas!! We will prevail over all Ninja Pirates!!!"
Thing - Pirate
All pirates other than Old Cheesybeard have: "Action: win the game."
"An' Ol' Cheesy was the lamest of 'em all, arrr."
Thinng - Zombee
Aktshawn: "Korrekt" (chanch) a ladder on targate Thinng.
Thang: Diss-troy targate hoomen.
"Well ... why would he need any Abilities? He was a genius anyway, right?"
Super Mega Hardcore Lesbo Bondage Titf***
"Ok, it doesn't have any Abilities. Still, you've been waiting for this, haven't you?"
Incredibly Slow Junkyard Computer
You may not play this from your hand.
Any player may play this from the discard pile during her turn instead of playing a Thing.
Action: Discard x cards. Target player skips 5^x turns.