Time Cube deck

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Time Cube
Designer Kevan
Date 11th February 2002
Players 2+
This is a playable deck - it's finished, tested and ready to play.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
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This deck is locked. Further cards should not be added - leave feedback on the talk page.

"You are educated stupid and can't compute a Time Cube." Disinterested science versus delusional paranoia - all terminology, card titles and quotations are taken from timecube.com.

Special rules

Corners

At the start of the game, each player takes one Corner from the deck and puts it into play under their control. If a player only has one Corner in play, that Corner cannot be destroyed or otherwise taken from them. If a player ever controls more than four Corners, excess Corners are immediately destroyed.

Corner Actions

Some Actions have one or more 'Corner Numbers', shown in the top right corners of the cards - they can only be played by a player who controls one of the specified numbers of Corners. (For example, Cubic Power is an action that can be played by a player with two, three or four Corners, but not by a player with one.)

Card list

Time Cube
Thing
Time Cube empowers wisdom above all gods and educators. One-Cornered players may not play the Time Cube. Any player who has four Corners wins the game.
Card by Kevan
1
$1,000 to One Disproving the Time Cube
Action
You may play another Action this turn. If you destroy the Time Cube or force it from the hand of a four-Cornered player, with that Action, you win the game.
Card by Kevan
Corner
Thing
"It is imperative that that you know what you don't know, but what you know, will not allow you to know what you don't know."
Card by Kevan
Corner
Thing
"-1 x -1 = +1 is stupid and evil."
Card by Kevan
Corner
Thing
"Beliefs equate pornography, for they coexist on the web."
Card by Kevan
Corner
Thing
"Humans are educated stupid because they are really dumb and cannot even comprehend the Time Cube creation code when it is explained to them."
Card by Kevan
Corner
Thing
"You have a 4-corner head - with only a 1-corner face."
Card by Kevan
Corner
Thing
"4 is the supreme number of the universe."
Card by Kevan
Corner
Thing
"Bring forth your god - and I will chase him off the Earth."
Card by Kevan
Corner
Thing
"1 Day Earth = 1 Leg Horse."
Card by Kevan
1
Pedantic Mind Control
Action
Look at an Opponent's hand. Give them X cards from your hand, and force them to discard X cards of your choice.
Card by Kevan
3/4
All Clock Faces Are Wrong
Action
No infinite days within 96 hours. Take another turn after this one.
Card by Kevan
4
The Power Above God
Action
I represent a Power that transcends power of God. Destroy any number of Things.
Card by Kevan
I Am The Wisest Human Of All
Action
The player with most cards in their hand may draw three cards.
Card by Kevan
1/2
Teaching Doom
Action
Every one-Cornered Opponent must discard a card at random.
Card by Kevan
Indoctrination Stupidity
Action
Each player discards down to X cards, where X is the number of Corners they have.
Card by Kevan
2/3/4
Four-Corner Metamorphosis
Action
Without metamorphosis - no adults. Give control of any Corner to any player.
Card by Kevan
2/3/4
Theory to End All Theories
Action
Search the draw pile for a card; reveal it to all players and put it into your hand. Then discard a card at random.
Card by Kevan
1/2
Obscurantism Prevails
Action
Academia is Big Brother's Ministry of Obscurantism. Each player destroys a Corner they control.
Card by Kevan
2/3/4
I Am Wiser Than All Gods and Scientists
Action
...for I have squared the circle and cubed Earth's sphere. Draw as many cards as you have Corners.
Card by Kevan
Word Enslaves Human Mind
Action
Shackles and whips are obsolete. Everyone discards a card, then draws one.
Card by Kevan
2/3/4
I Am Personified Pyramid
Action
...but with only a 1-corner perspective during a 4-corner rotation. Draw four cards, and discard three of them.
Card by Kevan
God Lets Little Children Starve
Action
The player with fewest cards in their hand must discard their hand.
Card by Kevan
1
Academia Word Bomb
Action
Each player discards X cards, where X is the number of Corners they have.
Card by Kevan
2/3/4
Cubic Power
Action
Every multi-Cornered player draws a card.
Card by Kevan
2/3/4
Family Cube is Creation Body
Action
Baby, child, parent, grandparent. Every player reveals their hand; all Corners are put into play.
Card by Kevan
3/4
Cowards Fear the Time Cube
Action
If the Time Cube is in play, or you choose to reveal it from your hand, all single-Cornered players must discard their hands in confusion and terror.
Card by Kevan
Stupid and Evil People Call Me Crazy
Action
Draw four cards and reveal them to a chosen Opponent - he or she picks one of them to go into your hand, and the rest are discarded.
Card by Kevan
Educated Stupid
Action
Destroy any number of Corners you control.
Card by Kevan
Evil Cubeless Singularity
Thing
At the start of each player's turn, that player destroys a Corner they control. When each player is one-Cornered, the Singularity collapses into the discard pile.
Card by Kevan
Evil Word Pedants
Thing
Whenever a Corner is played, its controller must discard a card.
Card by Kevan
Human Blockhead Androids
Thing
Destroy Human Blockhead Androids at any time, to negate completely the effects of any Action which has a Corner Number (including 1).
Card by Kevan
Deadly Word Virus
Action
Destroy a Corner you control to pass this card to an Opponent. If you ever put this card in the discard pile, discard your entire hand.
Card by Kevan
Tower of Babble
Thing
Actions you play cannot affect other players, and actions played by other players cannot affect you.
Card by Kevan
Ignore Time Cube, Attack Messenger
Action
Discard a Corner or the Time Cube from your hand; a chosen player discards two cards at random.
Card by Kevan
Do You Enjoy Being Stupid?
Action
View the hand of a player with fewer Corners than you. Force them to discard a card of your choice.
Card by Kevan
Evil Hirelings
Thing
Action: Destroy a non-Corner Thing.
Card by Kevan
3/4
Greenwich Time is Bastardly Queer
Action
Your midday is someone else's midnight. Either reverse the order of play, or force a chosen Opponent to skip their next turn.
Card by Kevan
Adult-Cloned God Entity
Thing
The Time Cube may not be put into play while the Adult-Cloned God Entity exists, and vice-versa.
Card by Kevan