The HSSSSS Card Game

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The HSSSSS Card Game
Designers jftsang, ictl
Date August 2008
Players 2-4 (3 recommended)
This is a CCG set, a set of cards which can be used to construct personalised decks, in the style of a collectable card game.
To play Dvorak: Draw five cards each and leave the rest as a draw pile. On your turn, draw a card from the draw pile and play one Thing and/or one Action. (See the full rules.)
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This deck is locked. Further cards should not be added - leave feedback on the talk page.


  • Gameplay is in turns. Each player takes his or her turn, and then the next player plays.
  • At the start of the game, you MUST play your home Website (FOFL, HSSSSS or Genesoft) depending on which team you are playing as. Each player searches through his/her deck to find one of these cards (or if the player is unaligned, any unaligned unique Website) and puts it in play. Each player than shuffles his/her deck.
  • The turns go in this order: FOFL, HSSSSS, Genesoft, Unaligned.
  • At the start of your turn, draw a card.
  • The first corner value indicates the attack value. The second corner value indicates the health value/hit points (HP). If the health value reaches 0, the card is removed from play into the discard pile.
  • Any card can attack another card, providing the attacking card has an attack value of 1 or more. Each card can attack once during your turn.
  • You may play 1 card of each type (1 Website, 1 Software, 1 Person, 1 Action, 1 Meme etc) per turn.
  • You may use actions on cards as many times as you want. However, you will need to take into consideration actions which state "once per turn", "once during your turn", "once every two turns" etc.
  • The effects of Effects take place as long as the card the Effect belongs to is still in play, regardless of whose turn it is as Effects have no time limit/span. Effects from Memes affect ALL players.
  • You may not play any card marked as "Unique" if the same card is already in play.
  • Only one Meme card may be in play at a time. Meme cards affect ALL players, not just the player who played it.
  • Your hand has an unlimited size.

Deck Construction

The following rules must be observed in deck construction:

  • A deck must have at least forty cards, but can have as many above that as you wish.
  • When constructing a deck, a player may use any of the neutral (grey or yellow) cards. He or she may also pick one of the colours (red, black or blue) to play, and may not use cards with the other two colours. If a player does not pick a colour, he or she is neutral or unaligned, and may not use any of the red, black or blue cards.
  • A deck must contain at least one Website, and one of the Websites is to be marked the home website. For an aligned player, this is preset to FOFL for Red, HSSSSS for Black and Genesoft for Blue. For an unaligned player, this home website may be any Unique Website that is designated as neutral.
  • A deck may not contain more than one copy of any card marked as "Unique".
  • Before the game, you must show exactly forty cards from your deck to your opponent, and your opponent must do likewise. These forty cards may be chosen by you.

Victory Conditions

You lose by any of these conditions:

  • Your home Website (FOFL, HSSSSS, Genesoft) is destroyed.
  • You run out of cards in your deck.
  • The size of your discard pile is greater than half of your deck or forty cards, whichever is greater.

If you eliminate both opponents in this way, you win!


  • An unaligned player playing Conversion immediately converts any card. He or she may use Conversion to target any red, black or blue card. If an unaligned player uses Conversion to target a neutral card, the player instead gains control over the card.
  • When a card goes out of play, it returns to full health.
  • The terms coaligned, controlled and owned are often used interchangeably. However, there are stricter definitions:
    • A coaligned card means that its colour is the same as yours. This may be due to a card such as Conversion.
    • A controlled card is one which is currently on your side.
    • An owned card is one which you started the game with.
  • Once per turn means once each turn, including your opponent's turn. This is different to once during your turn.
  • If there is no indication of how often you can play an Action, treat it like an Effect. For example, someone controlling Adobe Uninstaller can use the Action at any time, even during an opponent's turn.

Card Listing

Main article: The HSSSSS Card Game/Card Listing

Card Text

  • Genesoft's text is: When this card is destroyed the game is lost for Blue Team. This card must be played at the start of the game. This card may be returned to your hand during your turn and may remain there. You must put this card back into play if an effect requires it to be discarded or shuffled into your deck. If Genesoft is in play at the end of your turn, you may flip a coin. If heads, you may search your deck and discard pile for as many Conversion, Copypaste and Copypasta cards as you like and put them into your hand.
  • Might do bad Stuff's text is: If there are any other Meme cards in play, discard them when you play this card. You may only play this card if Tiftif is in play.
    Action: Once during your turn, each player may flip a coin until you get tails. For every head, discard one of your opponent's cards. For every tail, discard one of your own cards. If either player is out of cards in play, that player may discard cards from his/her hand. If a player is forced to discard his/her home Website, that player automatically loses the game.
  • Negative's text is: If there are any other Meme cards in play, discard them when you play this card.
    Action: All cards which describe a positive value now describe a negative value and vice versa. This has no effect on original corner values. All cards will have at least 0/1 or higher as their final total card value, except cards which do not have a value at all.
    e.g.: an item which gives a card +1/-3 will now give -1/+3. Its corner value of 0/5 will stay as 0/5.

Sample Decks

Main article: The HSSSSS Card Game/Sample FOFL Deck

Main article: The HSSSSS Card Game/Sample HSSSSS Deck

Main article: The HSSSSS Card Game/Sample Genesoft Deck



  • Defence. Choose cards which have a high health value. This will allow you to withstand your opponents attacks for longer.
  • Discarding opponent's cards. Blitzkrieg is very good at this. Remember, if your opponents discard pile has 40+ cards or has 0.5 x original deck card count, he/she loses.
  • Adobe. Sidious enables you to bypass the coin flip on all Adobe cards. It also allows you to control who can play Adobe Uninstaller. Remember, you need Windows to play Adobe cards.


  • Website networks. The home Website cannot be attacked destroyed if you control any other Website(s) in play. It also cannot be attacked if jftsang is in play. Use jftsang and System Admin cards to heal damage from your Websites.
  • Recycle. ictl allows you to take as many cards as you want from your discard pile to your hand. Remember, your hand has an unlimited size!


  • Copy. This alignment specialises in copying your opponent's Websites. Make sure you have enough Copypaste and Copypasta cards, and most importantly, the Websites you are trying to copy so that you can do this.
  • Non-existence. Remember, you can return Genesoft from play into your hand but it must remain in your hand. If a card requires you to discard all the cards in your hand, you must put Genesoft back into play.
  • LOLcat and Pron. Moxsty Hasqur grows in strength for every Pron card you destroy. As LOLcat can substitute for any amount of Pron cards, Moxsty Hasqur can literally be invincible. However, this still makes this card susceptible to Actions which enable your opponent to discard Persons.


  • Forums and Wikis. These have an unlimited health value if you control someone sharing your alignment which can hack. This is especially useful for the HSSSSS alignment as its home Website has very low health compared to other Websites.
  • Windows and Linux. Windows is a must if you wish to utilise Adobe cards. Linux is useful for healing your Websites. Remember you can only choose 1 at the same time but you may switch during your turn.
  • Stevo. Although Stevo is very weak to begin with, its strength can be increased massively by MyFace and Buses.
  • Gemma. Like Stevo, Gemma is also very weak to begin with but becomes stronger when you have a lot of Chavs in play.
  • Chav armies. Remember that Chavs are stronger in numbers.
  • Bethanol and Bethyl Acetate. Although raddicalrabbit and subsequently Bethene are very hard to keep in play, Bethanol and Bethyl Acetate are two of the most useful cards in the whole game. Bethanol is also the strongest card in the game with an attack value of 15. Remember raddicalrabbit requires ALL players to not play Linux so it and Bethene can stay in play.
  • ORLY? YARLY! wars. When you or your opponent plays an ORLY? card, and both of you have a lot of ORLY? and YARLY! cards, prepare for an ORLY? YARLY! war. However, this is usually very rare.
  • Buzzers. Got Talent Buzzer cards enable you to discard your opponent's Persons. When combined with Recycle, you can use these cards again and again, hassling your opponent.
  • Memes. Memes can change the course of play drastically, even making the strongest player now the weakest player.
  • Autowin and Dael with it. If there is an undesirable Meme card in play, you can play Autowin and Dael with it to remove it. It is unlikely that anyone is lucky enough to get 8 heads in a row and most people playing this game can stand not being able to complain so the main use of these cards are removing an existing Meme from play.