Reason to Live
If any Thing requires its own destruction to take effect, then that aspect of its effect is removed. Also, if any Thing requires itself to be discarded after a certain amount of turns, it instead stays in play until it is destroyed like any other Thing.
At the end of your turn, put an Age token on every Thing except this one. If a Thing ever has three or more Age tokens on it, it is destroyed.
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, its controller may destroy a Thing. (This card may trigger itself.)
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, its controller may put a Thing into play from their hand.
One cup too much
Whenever a target would be chosen choose it randomly.
This is what happens when you drink too much caffeine
For the Want of a Nail
Destroy a Thing, unless its controller discards a Thing card from their hand.
It's Better to be a Coward for a Day Than to be Dead Forever
No player may be eliminated from play if they control at least one tangible Thing. Whenever a player would be eliminated, a tangible Thing under their control is destroyed instead. The would-be eliminator can choose which Thing is destroyed.
'At least hiding keeps me alive!'
If a card's effect would apply to itself but doesn't because its text includes a phrase like 'other than this card' it affects itself anyway.
Launch a Volley of Envy Arrows
Eliminate all players from play who control more Things than you do.
Return a Thing you control to your hand. (You may choose play this in response to a Thing you control being destroyed, to return it to your hand instead.)
Whenever any player destroys a Thing controlled by an opponent (other than this card), they gain control of it instead.
The Rich Get Richer
Each player draws as many cards as they already have in their hand.
Go on a Conquest
Flip a coin for each card in play under an opponent's control. If the coin comes up heads, destroy the card. If the coin comes up tails, take control of the card.
When it is your turn, you may use the abilities of all Things under your control in that one turn. If one of your Things is destroyed, destroy all of your Things
Create twenty Money Tokens and gain control of them. Create eight Money Tokens for every opponent, and give eight of those Money Tokens to each player. You must play Coin Shower immediately after you draw it, and after it is played your turn is over.
When this comes into play, choose and secretly note down the name of another Thing you control (or this card, if you have no other Things). If that Thing leaves play, destroy Keyser Soze; if it leaves play on an opponent's turn, you lose the game. Action: Destroy a Thing.
All players discard their hands. For as long as Child's Play is in play, all players' turns consist of drawing a card and then playing that card. The card, when drawn, must be played without exception. No player may draw more than one card per turn.
Action: Select a tangible Thing under an opponent's control and flip a coin. If the coin comes up heads, then the target Thing is destroyed; if it comes up tails, Flung Toaster is destroyed. If Flung Toaster was not destroyed, give control of it to the target card's controller. Flip a coin. If the coin comes up heads, then Flung Toaster's new controller cannot use it.
When this comes into play, pick a Thing with an action ability. Whenever its controller uses that ability, all other players may immediately play one Action card in response.
My Man Friday
This card may never have control of it changed for any reason. This card may also fulfill any requirements outlined by other cards.
Have a Forked Lightning Bolt Strike
Pick an opponent. Destroy their furthest-left card and their furthest-right card
The player with the fewest Things in play wins the game.
Play this card at any time. Choose a card, and choose a sentence on that card. It loses that sentence until the end of your next turn.
Action: Destroy target thing, then roll 1d6. If you roll equal to the number of things in play, you win.
Nothing at all...
You may not play this card. Whenever you discard Discard Fodder, roll 1d6 and draw cards equal to the number rolled this way.
Whenever an opponent loses control of a Thing to another player, has a Thing destroyed or has a Thing altered, draw a card for each Thing swapped, altered or destroyed.
The Inverse Ninja Law
Add up all numerical values on all cards in play that have some kind of numerical value on them. Divide that number by the number of cards in play with numerical values. Replace their numerical values with the result.
The End of the Secrecy
All players lay their hands on the playing surface in front of them so all the other players can see them. Any player can use the cards in the hand of any other player if they so wish.
If a player would win the game, they draw a card instead unless this card has already prevented a victory this turn. The card with the text that would allow the victory cannot make any player win until the start of the next turn. If this card would be destroyed, discard a card instead unless this card has already prevented its own destruction this turn.
At the start of each of your turns, give Magic Mirror to an opponent of your choice for the duration of this turn, and gain control of all of their Things for the duration of this turn.
At the start of each of your turns, you may put a Thing into play. Return it to your hand at the end of your turn, if you still control it.
Play in response to an Action card being played by an opponent. The card has no effect, and you may put it into your hand.
Action: Destroy any thing.
Card by Tar7arus
Thing: This card can not be destroyed.
Card by Tar7arus
Each turn, you may play two Things, two Actions or one Thing and one Action.
Play into the control of an opponent. The controller of Straitjacket may not play a Thing and an Action during the same turn.
The Eye of Argon
Action: Look at an opponent's hand, and force them to discard any cards with fewer than three words in their name.
While this card is in play, no more than one Thing can be destroyed at once.
Whenever any of your Things is destroyed, give the destroying player an amount of Curse tokens equal to the number of your Things they destroyed. This applies to you if you destroy any of your own Things for any reason. If any player acquires 8 Curse tokens, they are eliminated from the game.
All or Nothin'
Have all players reveal their hands. If a player's hand is composed of either all Actions or all Things, their hand size is increased by one. Otherwise, their hand size is decreased by one.
When this card comes into play, put a Bacteria token into play. When it leaves play, destroy all Bacteria. Action: Double the number of Bacteria tokens each player controls.
The Thurston Grip
Whenever you discard a card from your hand, you may destroy a Thing.
Action: Draw, reveal and discard cards until you reveal a Thing; put it into play and give control of Nanobot Swarm to an opponent.
When Crate is destroyed, search through the draw pile and put the first tangible Thing you find in Crate's place. If that Thing has an Action ability, it may use that ability immediately if you wish.
Action: End the game. All players are considered to have lost.
Tigersheep cannot destroy Things. Action: Destroy 2 Things.
Pick an opponent, look through their hand, and take up to three cards.
This card is considered able to destroy Things only on your turn. Action: Destroy a Thing.
Select 3 Things under your control and put them in a stack. Those 3 Things are considered to be one Thing with the combined names and texts of all of them. Its colour is considered to be the one possessed by the majority of the component cards.
Play Sheep's Clothing on a Thing you control; that Thing has no text during your opponents' turns.
Whenever an opponent draws a card, they must reveal it to you.
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, you may prevent its destruction and destroy Fall Guy. Whenever you would discard a card, you may discard Fall Guy from your hand instead.
Pick a random card from the discard pile, and for each word on the card, flip a coin. If heads, strike out the word.
When Spam Filter comes into play, choose a letter. Cards with that letter in their title may not be played.
Raining Cats and Dogs
Whenever a Thing comes into play, the player responsible for it coming into play must destroy a Thing.
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Whenever an Action (or a copy of an Action) is played by a player, any of their opponents may force them to play another copy of that Action.
Equip this card onto a Thing under the control of any player. The Thing equipped with this card is not affected by any cards other than this one and cannot affect any other cards.
Whenever an opponent draws a card, plays a card, or discards a card from his or her hand, he or she must read that card's title, type and text aloud.
Shady Figure in a Trenchcoat
Whenever an opponent plays a card, flip a coin. If the coin comes up tails, return the card to the owner's hand. The card, if returned, does not take effect but is considered to have been played.
Whenever an opponent plays a Thing card, draw a card.
Reveal your hand. An opponent picks one of those cards for you to discard; the rest are played immediately.
This card may only be played if you already control five or more Things. If this is the only Thing you control, you win the game. At the start of your turn, give control of a Thing you control to an opponent.
Select an opposing Thing and make Voodoo Doll a copy of that Thing, except Voodoo Doll's copied text does not have any real effect. Whenever Voodoo Doll is changed or destroyed, the other Thing is changed or destroyed accordingly.
Select a Thing and flip a coin. If it comes up heads, destroy the Thing and flip a coin for the card to its direct left and the card to its direct right and repeat the process until a tail comes up or all of that player's Things are destroyed. When a card is destroyed, the gap remains.
Select one Thing in play. Put a copy of it in each player's hand, a copy under the control of each player, one copy in the draw pile and one copy in the discard pile. When one of the copies (or the original) is destroyed, returned or drawn, create a replacement copy and put it in the place of the destroyed, drawn or returned one.
The first time a player plays a card during a turn, they must immediately play another card of the same type (Action or Thing), or the first card is discarded and has no effect.
At any time, you may destroy this Thing and another Thing of your choice.
Every player receives a Water token. Return this card to your hand afterwards.
Destroy a Thing. Its controller draws two cards.
This card is not considered to be under the control of any player. Freebird is not affected by locations.
Whenever a player draws a card (including at the beginning of their turn), bring the card on top of the discard pile back into play under the control of the player who drew the card.
Choose an opponent. All of their Things are considered effectless until your next turn.
Choose one non-token Thing belonging to each player and give each to a different random player.
Draw 2 cards and decrease your hand size by 1.
"I don't care! It GETS me stuff!"
Whenever an ambiguity or conflict between card effects arises, destroy the ambiguous and/or conflicting cards.
Play this card onto a Thing you control. When that Thing is made a target of destruction, roll a 6-sided die. On a roll of 5 or 6, your Thing is not destroyed.
Name a card. If the named card is in play or in the discard pile, place it into your hand.
you just got pwned lolz!!11!!
Choose a thing. All players that don't control the chosen thing draw a card. Destroy the chosen thing.
Really Fast Roller Skates
At the beginning of your turn, before you draw for your turn, draw 3 cards and discard 2 cards at random.
Bob, Bob, Bob of suburbia, watch out for that SUV!
When Sniper Position comes into play, look at a chosen opponent's hand, then name a card. The named card cannot be played.
Whenever a Thing you control is destroyed, discard your hand and put the destroyed Thing back into play under your control.
Create a copy of Magic Hat and put it under the control of an opponent. Every turn, that opponent must give control of one of her/his Things to you and you must give control of one of your Things to her/him. Control of a Magic Hat cannot be changed in this way. The copied Magic Hat does not get copied.
Each turn, destroy 2 random Things in play other than this one.
Just don't inhale and you'll be fine.
When you play this card, put it face down on top of the draw pile. When you draw this card, you must play it. If Ouroboros is discarded from your hand, put it face down on top of the draw pile.
Whenever a non-token Thing is destroyed, put a Ghost token into play under the control of the destroyed Thing's controller.
At the start of your turn, destroy any Things which were put into play by this card. Action: Discard a card, and put a Thing from the discard pile into play under your control.
Pick an Action card in the discard pile; unless an opponent discards two cards, this Action counts as a copy of that Action.
Create a black Thing with no effect called 1000-lb Weight and place it on top of an opponent's Thing. That Thing is considered effectless. When 1000-lb Weight is destroyed, the Thing underneath is considered to have no effect until the end of your next turn.
Destroy a Thing belonging to an opponent and bring it back into play at the start of your next turn. That Thing is considered to have been destroyed by a Thing called Hammer.
When an opposing Thing would destroy any of your Things, destroy that Thing instead and return it from the discard pile at the beginning of your next turn. You may play this card at any time, regardless of whose turn it is.
An opponent can only play an Action if you played an Action during your most recent turn.
Action: Opponent chooses; either you get to destroy a Thing, or you gain one Money token.
The Element of Surprise
Pick a random card from any player's hand; they must play it immediately.
As an action, a player can gain control of a Thing by giving its controller an amount of Money tokens equal to its cornervalue. A letter in a cornervalue is replaced by its point value in Scrabble and is added to the number. All Things without corner values are given a corner value equal to the number of words in their title, followed by the initial letter in their title.
Action: Destroy this card to destroy two other Things.
These bees have one common goal: The elimination of the human 'picnic' ritual.
On each player's turn, before the player has drawn their card, flip a coin. If the coin comes up heads, change the colour of this card to green and continue as normal. If the coin comes up tails, change this card's colour to red and end the current turn.
It is the supreme deity of cars the world over.
Whenever a Thing comes into play, its controller must give control of it to an opponent.
Play in response to any card. It takes effect as if you had played it; you may make any decisions required of it.
Play in response to any Action that targets one or more players or Things. The player who played it must choose a different valid target, if one exists.
If any player has fifteen or more Money tokens in play, they win the game. Action: Put a Money token into play.