Path of Asceticism
A player who controls no Things besides this one is an Ascetic. Ascetics may not be eliminated, and non-Ascetics may not win. If you are an Ascetic, you may prevent this card's destruction by revealing that your hand contains no Things. When the game ends, all Ascetics win.
During their turn, a player may reveal any number of cards from their hand, allow their opponents to take any that they wish, and discard the rest.
The Fucking Sun
When you obtain this, destroy all of your things. Destroy any things you obtain while you have this.
Bucket of Water
You are immune to the effects of anything related to fire.
Bucket of Fire
You are immune to the effects of anything related to water.
Bucket of Earth
You are immune to the effects of anything related to air.
Bucket of Air
You are immune to the effects of anything related to earth.
The classical element, not the planet. Dirt, rocks, terrain, etc.
You must play this card as soon as you draw it, but you may play an additional Action this turn. Destroy a random tangible Thing.
Play Salted Earth into any player's control.
When you draw more than one card at a time, put all but one of those cards face-down underneath Salted Earth, and if Salted Earth has at least 4 cards under it, put those cards and Salted Earth in the discard pile.
Winds of Change
Target player shuffles their hand into their deck, then draws that many cards minus one.
Instead of playing a Thing this turn, you may have a different target player shuffle their hand into their deck and draw that many cards minus one.
When Collossal Whale enters play, all other Things become Inside The Whale (They're still in play, and control of those Things does not change).
For the purposes of Things Inside The Whale, Things not Inside The Whale don't exist.
For the purposes of Things not Inside The Whale, Things Inside The Whale don't exist.
You must play this card as soon as you draw it, but you may play an additional Action this turn. The next player in turn order discards their hand.
"That was close!"
"...Well, some might argue that it was too close."
Destroy a combustible Thing,
OR play immediately in response when an opponent would force you to discard or reveal any cards from your hand to prevent the effect.
At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?!
When the previous player in turn order plays a Thing, you may immediately play a Thing in response.
Keep the Best, discard the rest.
Everyone chooses 1 card in their possession to keep. Discard and destroy the rest, as applicable.
Action: Gain a token with the title of Opponent's target thing. If you have 3 of these tokens, create and cain control of a copy of that thing.
The Basic Building blocks of life
Action: Destroy Target opponent's thing, provided that it would be smaller than an adult elephant.
Path of Self-Denial
A player may Fast by abstaining from drawing cards since (and including) the beginning of their most recent turn. Fasting players may not be eliminated, and non-Fasting players may not win. If you are Fasting, you may prevent this card's destruction instead of breaking your Fast during your next turn. When the game ends, all Fasting players win.
If You Say So
Discard 2 cards.
Play this card onto a Thing you control; attached Thing is considered blank. When this card enters play, you may a reveal a living Thing from your hand. If you do, this card becomes a copy of that card, minus its abilities, and gains "Opponents' cards can't destroy this card. When you aren't revealing a card from your hand with this card's name, put this card in the discard pile."
Each player returns a Thing they control to their hand.
If an opponent has more cards in their hand than you, draw a card. If an opponent controls more non-Token Things than you, you may put a Thing from your hand into play. If there are more creators among an opponent's Things than among yours, return this card to your hand.
Play Stonewall into any player's control. Stonewall enters play with 3 Brick Tokens on it.
You may not play Things while there are any Brick Tokens on Stonewall.
Action or Thing: Remove a Brick Token on Stonewall from the game.
Play a Thing into any player's control. Its ruletext is considered blank until the beginning of its controller's next turn.
Museum-Quality Scale Model Card Table
When this comes into play, gain tokens with the names of all other non-token Things in play and arrange them on this card around a Draw Pile token and a Discard Pile token.
Lonely in a Crowd
Target opponent may not play a Thing during their next turn.
Thing - Dark Elf
Whenever a Thing you control is destroyed, put it underneath Dark Avenger. Action: Use an Action ability of a card underneath Dark Avenger, then put that card in the discard pile.
Thing - Dark Elf
Action or Thing: Look at target opponent's hand. They choose a card in their hand, and if it's an Action they choose any targets necessary for it. During their next turn they must play that card with the chosen targets if able.
Thing - Dark Elf
Action: Target opponent reveals a card from their hand if they have at least 3 cards in their hand. The first time they would play a card on their next turn, they instead reveal a random card from their hand. If it has the same title as the first revealed card, they discard it. Otherwise, they play that card if able.
Gesture of Deference
Choose a creator when this comes into your control. When an opponent plays a card by that creator, they must draw a card and give you a card. When you play a card by that creator, every opponent must draw a card and give you a card.
Shuffle the discard pile and put it face down on top of the draw pile.
Hidden in the Source Code
This card's ability is unusable and cannot be activated by anyone. Action: Discard five cards and win the game.
Savor The Moment
Whenever you play an Action while you have no more than one other card in your hand, return that Action from the discard pile to your hand.
Move all Things you control, all cards in your hand, and this card Up Your Sleeve.
Turn: If this card is Up Your Sleeve, put it in the discard pile and play any number of cards from Up Your Sleeve, then put all cards from Up Your Sleeve into your hand.
Look at target opponent's hand. They discard a Thing card of your choice.
Action: Place an Ichor token on Target thing. If that thing is attempted to get destroyed, it will be successful.
Action: Place a Cursed Flame token on Target thing. If that thing is targeted, destroy it.
Release The Hypnodrones
All things fall under your control.
Program: Make paperclips
Action: Give a card in your hand to an opponent or play a Thing into an opponent's control.
My Two Cents
When you play a Thing whose ruletext contains the name of a token type, you may play this card immediately along with it, choosing a token type in its ruletext when you do. This counts as two tokens of the chosen type.
Destroy an opponent's Thing and give them a card from your hand.
Action: Choose target thing and flip 1 coin(s). If none are tails, destroy that Thing. If that Thing is destroyed this way, increase the number of coins this ability flips by 1.
When Sponsorship Deal enters play, choose a creator. At the beginning of your turn you may reveal a card by that creator from your hand to gain 2 Money Tokens.
This turn made possible by Cards By Kevan®
"He Can't Keep Getting Away With It!"
Return this card to your hand, then discard a random card.
If you have played this card this game, destroy a random Thing you control.
If you have played this card three other times this game, you win the game.
Take a Thing from an opponent and give them a Thing from your hand.
OR you may prevent the destruction of one of your Things before your next turn.
Instead of playing a Thing this turn, you may put a living Thing in the discard pile into your hand.
Put a Fire token with "Destroy attached Thing at the end of your turn" onto target Thing.
OR draw a card for every Thing you destroyed during your last turn, up to 5.
Instead of playing a Thing this turn, you may force target opponent to discard a card.
Discard any number of cards from your hand. Count the same number of cards from the top of the draw pile and shuffle the cards you discarded into them. Then draw the same number of cards.
At the beginging of everyone's turn, the controller of this destroys target thing and gains 5 Paperclip tokens.
Destroy target thing
When played, place a mirror token on another target thing. This thing counts as a copy of that thing. If the Mirror token is destroyed, destroy this thing.
Regard with disdain, verging on contempt, all Things with Action abilities (or indeed Thing abilities - why, the very idea!). Destroy/discard all such Things in your control or your hand. If you draw one, discard it and draw again. Instead of playing an Action, you may draw a card or play a Thing.
The old way is the correct way.
Early in the Morning
At the end of an opponent's next turn, you may play a Thing into any player's control.
Really Good at Being Mediocre
If you have more than three cards at the end of your turn, discard until you have three; if you have fewer than three, draw until you have three.
Riches To Rags To Riches
You may only play this card if you have at least four other cards in your hand.
When your hand is empty, put this card in the discard pile and draw five cards.
Think of Something
Action: If you control no other Things with Action abilities, draw a card.
Sleight of Sleight of Hand
Choose up to one card in each of
- Your hand
- An opponent's control
- The top of the deck
- Up Your Sleeve
and move it to another one of those zones. Each card must go to a different zone. An Action card put into play this way is immediately played.
Reveal the top 26 cards of the draw pile and remove any with spelling mistakes to the discard pile, then alphabetize the remainder and replace them in order.
Action: If there are fewer than five cards under this card, put an Action from your hand face down under this card.
Action: If there are five cards under this card, shuffle them, reveal one, and do what it says.
Take an Action in the discard pile that could destroy a Thing and put it into your hand.
Blessed Bone Die
Thing - Good
When you play this, discard up to 6 Actions to imbue the die with their powers, overwriting the following results in ascending numerical order:
1. You are immune to elimination once.
2. No effect.
3. Play 2 additional actions.
4. Destroy an opponent's Thing.
5. Double your handsize.
6. Gain a turn.
Roll. The die is indestructible until your next turn.
For every 100 of everyone's collective turns after this is played, everyone's handsize decreases by 1.
For every 100 of everyone's collective turns after this is played, everyone's handsize increases by 1.
Cantor's Inverse Dimensionality Lemma
Let Γ be an isotropic tangent space of ℝn at ζ and Ξ be a piecewise sesquilinear transformation. Then there exists a relation f-1 of ζ such that we can construct a connected polytope in the p-adics diffeomorphic to H2(ℂ, ℚp).
Proof: Suppose σ is a Euclidean subspace of ℚpn and ψ is an antisymmetric mapping. The result follows by dévissage. Any opponents to whom this is not obvious must discard a card.
. This card is simultaneously red, orange, yellow, and green.
Possessed Deck of Playing Cards
Thing - Evil
Once per turn, shuffle and reveal the top card of a standard deck. 2-6/7-10/J-K♣: You/Opponents/All players discard a card. A♣: A random player discards their hand. 2-10/J-K♦: Destroy a Thing/a random Thing. A♦: Take a Thing from the discard pile. 2-10/J-K♥: Draw a card/2 cards. A♥: Take another turn. 2-10♠: Gain an Insanity token. J-K♠: An opponent skips a turn. A♠: Eliminate a random player.
When this thing is destroyed with anything except fire, create a copy of it and everything on top of it, then gain control of them. You may replace all "fire" with any noun.
When this enters play, play it on any of your things. It gains the text: "When this thing is destroyed with anything except fire, create a copy of it and everything on top of it, then gain control of them. You may replace all "fire" with any noun."
When this enters play, you may replace the second "Stone" with any noun. Action: Destroy target thing that has sight, and gain 5 Stone tokens.
Happy Birthday to Me
When you play this, each opponent must draw cards until they draw a Thing, discard the other cards they drew, and place the Thing face down under this card. Thing: Turn a Thing under this card face up and gain control of it.
Void Vortex destroys itself at the end of your turn. While it is in the discard pile, it is considered the bottommost card in the discard pile, and all cards below it are considered removed from the game.
Return a Thing you control to your hand, then play it immediately.
Whenever a player plays an Action card from their hand, they put it under Echo Hub instead of into the discard pile. They then play any Action cards that were already under Echo Hub, putting those Action cards into the discard pile.
At the beginning of your turn, play or discard the first card you draw, then draw an additional card. This counts as one of your plays for the turn.
For each type of Token your opponents control, each opponent gives you one third of their Tokens of that type, rounded up. Draw two cards.
Transfer up to 5 of your non-token Things into your opponents' control. Draw 1 card for the first such Thing you donate, 2 for the second, 3 for the third, and so on.
Ball and Chain
Play this card into any player's control. You may only play an Action if you discard a card first.
The Ol' Razzle Dazzle
Draw two cards, discard one of them, and put a card from your hand on top of the draw pile.
Lose control of one of your things to gain control of an opponent's thing. They gain control of your thing.
Super Unabsorbant Sponge
Action: Gain a Token of a Liquid of your choice.
Super Absorbant Sponge
Action: Destroy a Token of a Liquid of your choice.
Remove the draw pile and discard pile from the game when this enters play, and replace them when this is destroyed. You may destroy this card at the beginning of your turn.
Sandstone, about 260 kg.
Your maximum hand size is decreased by 1. Action: Discard a card and transfer this card into target opponent's control.
Action: Incessant barking! Living Things are too annoyed to use their abilities before your next turn.
Perpetual Motion Machine
Action: Gain an energy token
Three men appear before you, all chanting otherworldly things. You may choose to listen. If you do, random a number between 1-3.
1: They speak of good fortune. Draw 2 cards.
2: They speak nonsense. It itches at your brain. Discard 2 cards.
3: There was nothing to hear. Discard 1 card.
Action: Destroy target thing. If it is on fire, destroy this as well.
Presented by Guacola®
Play onto target Thing. When attached Thing uses an ability, gain 2 Money tokens.
Every player's hand size limit is reduced by the number of non-token Things they control (besides this one). A player who controls more than five other non-token Things may not draw cards, but they may destroy any of their non-token Things at any time.
Each player gains a Grain token with "At the beginning of your turn, gain a copy of this token."
Thing - Room
Action: Draw from the deck until you draw a thing. Then replace any thing you control with it.
There is no purpse for either this nor a note as short as the one described
Action: Choose an action played in the discard pile and random a player to play it again.
Thing - Node
When Ascending Node comes into play, for each Node you control, search the deck for a Moon and put it into play.
Thing - Room
If you have at least 4 cards in your hand, you may look at the top card of the draw pile at any time during your turn. Action: Discard a card and look at target opponent's hand.
Average the number of cards in each player's hand. Each player must draw or discard until they hold that many cards, rounded to the nearest whole number.
Whoever has the most cards loses the game. Whoever has the least cards discards their hand. Everyone else may decide to either win the game, or discard a card. If more than 1 player chooses to win, all of them discard their hand, and the discarders draw a card.
Action: Destroy the Sigil and play a copy of The Moon Lord
The Moon Lord
Action: The Lunar Floe overwhelms you. Discard 2 cards to steal 1 card.
Action: The Solar Energy empowers you. Draw 2 cards and destroy 3 things.
Awakened from Cryosleep in the Year 7299
Discard your hand and destroy all of your Things. Draw 995 cards and discard them immediately, then draw 5 cards.
Accident at the Funky Purple Ink Factory
Change the color of every Thing in play to Funky Purple.