Chain of Pain
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, its controller discards a card.
Play Grim Scythe onto a Thing you control. That Thing has "Action: Discard a card. If you do, destroy target living Thing".
Target opponent discards a random card.
If this card is in the discard pile, the player whose turn it is may discard 2 cards to move it to their hand.
Once per round, you may destroy one of your Things, discard a card and draw a card.
Destroy a Thing.
If this card is in the discard pile, the player whose turn it is may discard 4 cards to move it to their hand.
Action: Gain control of any thing in play with a corner value that includes the numeral 2.
Each player with five or more cards in hand can't draw cards.
Boomerang Echo Blast
Destroy target Thing. If you play this card from your hand, leave it face-up in front of you, and the next time you could play an Action, play this card.
The Wrath Of Karn
Destroy all non-metallic Things.
Wait, you mean Kirk didn't have a British accent?
As long as you control at least 3 Things whose titles are names of songs, whenever an opponent plays an Action, you may negate that Action.
Let me write the songs of a nation, I don’t care who writes its laws." - Andrew Fletcher
When Pedobear comes into play, choose an opponents thing. You control the chosen thing now. Put 3 tokens on the chosen thing and remove one of it at the beginning of your turn. I f there aren't any tokens left, destroy the chosen thing.
"I, I, I like little girls! They make me feel so good!" - Little Girls by Oingo Boingo
Shout out loud "Ufoporno!". Choose one thing of every player in the game and give every player one of them randomly chosen back.
Roll of Toilet Paper
If someone plays a thing you can play this (even if it's not your turn) and put it under the gamers control into play. He/she has to take the thing he/she wanted to play back then.
I've got something way better for you.
Mordecai and Rigby
Action or Thing: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, you may play an extra Action and Thing this turn. If you lose the flip, end your turn.
Discard a card: Gain a Cake token. Activate this ability only during your turn.
Free cake! Free cake! Free cake!
Giant Enemy Crab
Your Opponents can't win, while "Giant Enemy Crab" is in play.
"Giant Enemy Crab" comes into play with 6 HP counter. If it's gonna be destroyed just remove 1 HP counter instead. If all counters are removed, destroy "Giant Enemy Crab".
Everyone can discard 2 cards to remove 2 HP counter.
Attack his weak point for massive damage.
Shit stain on toilet? Blast it with piss.
Discard a card and destroy a thing.
A dead baby stuffed full of heroin in your moms car
Lay this card under a thing of your choice. If that chosen thing is destroyed, removed from the game or send back to its controllers hand, its controller discards all cards.
Destroy a single Thing up to 6 times.
As long as you have five cards in hand, you and Things you control can't be the targets of effects your opponents control.
Action: Target opponent puts a card from his or her hand into your hand.
Whenever a player would draw a card, that player puts the top card of the discard pile into his or her hand instead.
Whenever the draw pile would be shuffled, shuffle the discard pile instead.
Whenever a player would search the draw pile, that player searches the discard pile instead.
Whenever a card would be put into the discard pile, put that card on top of the draw pile instead.
There's a Ghost in the Bathroom!
Whenever a player would discard a card, that player chooses a Thing he or she controls and destroys it instead.
"If you're so sure there isn't one, why don't you look yourself?"
Action: Add or remove an Outrage counter from this card. Any player may play this ability.
Reaction: When another Thing uses an Action ability, discard a card to destroy that Thing. If there is an Outrage counter on this card, any player may play this ability.
Whenever a player uses a Thing's Action ability, that player gains an Hour token.
If there are at least 24 Hour tokens in play, and one player controls more Hour tokens than any other player, that player wins the game.
"It's the end of the world!"
Just Set Up the Chairs
If the number of Things you control is prime, destroy all Things. If the number of Things you control is composite, draw X cards, where X is its lowest prime factor.
"You fools! You unleashed the Destroyer of Worlds?"
When Narpa's Sword enters play, draw five cards.
Action and Thing: Destroy target Thing.
When Narpa's Sword leaves play, discard your hand.
Hypnotoad counts as a player.
If Hypnotoad comes into play, all things that are in play right now are now controlled by Hypnotoad.
If Hypnotoad gets destroyed or eliminated from the game, destroy all things which were under its control.
Hypnotoad can't be send back on any hand or removed from the game.
Nobody can't win while Hypnotoad is in play.
All glory to the Hypnotoad!
Thing: Put a saucer, cup, fork, spoon, knife or anything dish related on a thing. That thing is considered blank, it can't be sacrificed, it can't be send back on any hand, it's indestructible and it can't be removed from the game.
Dirty dishes, beware for the Dishman!
When Narwhal's Sword enters play, bring 5 Narwhal tokens into play with the ability "If a Narwhal gets destroyed, destroy 1 thing.". If there are no Narwhal tokens left, destroy Narwhal's Sword.
When Narwhal's Sword leaves play, destroy all Narwhal tokens.
Action and Thing:
Destroy target Thing.
Ask the Audience
Each other player chooses Action or Thing. Reveal the top card of the deck. For each player whose choice matches the type of the revealed card, draw up to two cards and play up to one card from your hand.
Phone a Friend
Draw three cards, then reveal your hand to the player on your right. That player chooses a card from your hand. You play that card, if able.
Jump the Question
Play when a card is played from a player's hand. Put the played card on the bottom of the deck and cancel any effects it would have. The player that played it draws two cards.
Kill the Quizmaster
Play as a reaction to a reaction or as a reaction to someone asking any question. The player that played the other reaction or asked the question has to discard his/her entire hand.
I want my money NOW!
Random card title here
Every player writes down 1 word. Those words become this cards title.
2 or more words start with same letter = "Action: Destroy 1 thing"
2 or more words end with same letter = "Thing: Draw 1 card"
2 or more words have same amount of letters = Indestructible
If all of those words start with the same letter, end with the same letter and have the same amount of letters, you win the game.
What the fuck is that?
Every living and/or undead thing of yours gets the ability: "Thing OR Action: Put 1 poop token into play."
Action and Thing:
Destroy up to n things of your choice, where n is the amount of poop tokens you have.
Play Amoebic Blessing onto another Thing.
When the Thing Amoebic Blessing is attached to is put into the discard pile, put two tokens that are copies of it into play.
Language In-Crowd: German Edition!
Draw a card.
Aktion: Wähle einen Buchstaben. Zerstöre alle Dinge, deren Titel mit dem gewählten Buchstaben anfangen.
Wenn ein Mitspieler die Fähigkeit dieser Karte anzweifelt, wirft dieser Spieler alle Handkarten ab.
Guten Tag! Hier steht absolut nichts wichtiges oder interessantes. Selbst wenn du bloß einen Online Übersetzer benutzt hast war es die Arbeit absolut nicht wert.
Flip a coin. If tails, completely reset the game. All players discard all their cards, and draw a new hand.
It's like a hard reset.
Inexorable Fish Puns
This turn only, you have no maximum hand size. Draw a card for every fish-based pun you make.
They cod'nt stop me mako-ing a reel fool of myself...
You Are My Human Shield
If the owner of this card would be eliminated, they can instead discard their hand target another player who will be eliminated instead.
What? No! Why are you grabbing me!? Put me do-AAAAARGH!
Race To The Moon
Action: Discard your hand. Give yourself 1 Research token. Action + Thing: Convert 5 Research tokens into 1 Rocket token. While it and this card are in play, you are on the moon. All players must bow down to your might every turn and may not destroy your cards or eliminate you.
Then they invented the Internet and nobody was bothered any more.
Whenever an effect an opponent controls targets you, you may say "No you!" If you do, destroy Wit Grenade and that effect targets its controller instead.
It's an all-purpose comeback in a can.
When Cheating Buddies enters play, choose an opponent.
Whenever that player draws a card, he or she shows it to you.
Whenever you draw a card, show it to that player.
At any time, you or the player you chose may look at the other's hand.
I'll trade my history notes for your biology ones.
Language In-Crowd: English Edition!
Action: Discard a card, draw two cards, then put a card from your hand on top of the deck.
If a card you play or control would destroy a card controlled by an opponent, prevent that and draw a card instead.
I want to be the very best, like no one ever was... wait, what?
Mirrodin Mining Corp., LLC
Action: Gain a Darksteel Nugget token. It has the text "Darksteel Nugget is indestructible."
Production has slowed since most of the miners got... you know... sick.
When you destroy an opponent's Thing, put a Hit counter on this.
When you destroy no Things during one of your turns, remove all Hit counters from this.
Action:If this has at least 5 Hit counters on it, remove them all and eliminate an opponent.
Destroy a Thing and look at a random card from its controller's hand.
Black Baby Pegasus
If it comes into play destroy up to 3 pony-related things. Nobody can play pony-related cards as long as "Black Baby Pegasus" is in play.
"Black Baby Pegasus" can't be effected by pony-related cards.
Destroy 1 pony-related card.
F*ck you, everypony! Friendship ISN'T magic!! -- Black Baby Pegasus
Giant Ant Queen
Bring 2 Giant Ant tokens into play.
Thing: Destroy up to x/2 things of your choice and destroy half of your Giant Ant Tokens.
x = Number of your Giant Ant tokens
I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords!
At the beginning of your turn you get 1 Xenomorph token with the ability "Action: Destroy 1 opponents thing of your choice.
If this gets destroyed, destroy 4 random things (other than Alien Queen or Xenomorph) and, if it was destroyed by a thing, destroy that subject thing too.".
Alien Queen can not be destroyed, as long as there is at least 1 Xenomorph token in play.
If Alien Queen leaves play, sacrifice all Xenomorph tokens without activating their effects.
Fires of Chaos
Roll a six-sided die. Destroy X randomly-selected Things, where X is the number you rolled.
COWER BEFORE MY UNPREDICTABILITY!
Thing - Pony
When another player plays a card from his or her hand, discard a card at random, then draw a card.
Action: target opponent.
It went right through him, sir!
Icestorm of Chaos
Roll 2 six-sided dice. X randomly-selected Things are considered blank, where X is the number you rolled with the first die, for Y rounds, where Y is the number you rolled with the second die.
Chill out, it's not that bad.
T-Rex with a cloaking device
Action: Destroy 1 thing.
You may discard a card at any time to prevent this thing from being targeted by any card or any player. If you do, this thing can't be the target from anything until your next turn.
Thing - Pony
When this card comes into play, you may search for a pony related card from the deck and put it into play under your control.
Action: Draw x cards, where x is the number of pony related cards you control other than "Rainbow Dash".
Did Someone Say Zombies?
Discard your hand create a zombie token for every card discarded.
I've got some right here. -Gill_smoke
Each player discards a card. If each player's hand is empty, you win the game. Otherwise, draw a card.
She's no Mena Suvari, but then, I'm no Kevin Spacey.
Target player sacrifices two Things he or she controls. The player to his or her left and the player to his or her right each sacrifice a Thing they control.
Each player chooses a Thing they control. For each chosen Thing, choose a random player, and give control of that Thing to that player.
Faraway earthquakes can cause small objects to move, as your roommates walk off with them while you loiter in the hall and chat with the neighbors.
Name your enemies in any order. The enemy you named first discards 1 card, the second one discards 2 cards, the third one discards 3 cards and so on.
If you have at least x more cards on your hand than every other player you win the game, where x is the amount of cards the last chosen enemy had to discard.
She's no Mena Suvari, but then, I'm no Jtwe.
If "Pregnant Cockroach" leaves play, roll 2 six-sided dice. You get x Cockroach tokens, where x is the total rolled number.
Well, that's just nasty...
Reaper from the Abyss
At the end of each turn, if a Thing was destroyed this turn, destroy target Thing.
Force of Will
You may only play Force of Will if you remove another blue card in your hand from the game.
Negate target Action.
Action: Look at the top 7 cards of the library. Choose a Thing from among them and put it into your hand, then shuffle the deck. Treasure Chest loses this ability.
Thing: Create 1 Dead Rising 2 token or 1 Brütal Legend token or 1 Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 token.
All Dead Rising 2 tokens have the ability "Action: Destroy all zombies of your choice."
All Brütal Legend tokens have the ability "Action: Play 2 Action cards."
All Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 tokens have the ability "Thing: Choose 1 of your things and 1 of an opponents thing. You and that opponent play roshambo; best out of 3. Looser destroys his/her thing."
Glasses of Inspiration
Action: Draw a card and discard a card. If the discarded card had the same cornervalue as the top card of the discard pile, you win the game.
...but some cards don't have a cornervalue.
Action: Give another player a card from your hand, then draw a card.
Destroy a non-living Thing.
Sometimes, all you need is a hammer.
Glasses of Expiration
Action: Draw a card and discard a card. If the discarded card had the same cornervalue as the top card of the discard pile, you lose the game.
Good thing some cards don't have a cornervalue.
Abraham's Divining Dreidel
Action: Look at the top three cards of the deck and rearrange them.
At any time, you may draw a card and put Abraham's Divining Dreidel on top of the deck.
Scroll of Lawsuit
Action: Destroy an Energy Token you control. If you do, choose a word in the title of a Thing you control and destroy all Things you don't control that have that word in their title.
Or should that be "Elder Scroll of Lawsuit?"
Can't Keep Johnny Down
Play on a living Thing. When subject Thing is destroyed, return it to play under the current player's control, then return this card to play and attach it to that Thing.
Some dude hitting golf balls on the moon, bathroom in his pants and he thinks he's better than me.
Chain of Violence
Destroy target Thing. Then that Thing's controller may copy this card and choose a new target. (If he or she does, the new target's controler may copy it again, and so on.)
You pulled the fire alarm, you tried punching a cop, you're just too tired to stop.
Play when an Action would destroy a Thing. That Action's controller chooses - cancel that Action, or destroy all Things.
Felines and dames in flames will hardly serve my aims, but in my dreams, it seems that my eyes are always shooting laser beams.
Action: Discard X cards, each of which is primarily written in a different language, to draw X times X cards. If X is greater than 2, destroy Untranslatable Message.
Every day, the fluffy temptation of wheat.
Breath Of Malfegor
Discard your hand, then each opponent chooses a Thing they control for each card you discarded. Destroy those Things.
Token Manufacturing Machine
At the beginning of your turn, you may change the type of a Blank Token you control to any type, then gain a Blank Token.
If Vengeful Zombie or any other Zombie enters play from the graveyard, its controller may destroy up to two target Things.
The fallen return as the undead. The fallen undead return as the pissed-the-hell-off undead.
Action: Sacrifice a Thing. Reveal cards from the top 20 cards of the deck until you reveal a Thing with fewer words in its text box than the sacrificed Thing. Put that Thing into play under your control.
I am a dog walker, but someday, I'll be a dog.
Whenever another player refers to you in the third person and doesn't call you "The Boss" or talks to you without addressing you as "Sir" or "Ma'am" (whichever is appropriate), that player discards his or her hand.
Crown of Garfield
Action: Reveal your hand. If the title of each card you reveal references Magic: The Gathering and you have at least three cards in hand, you win the game.
"At last we will reveal ourselves to the Yu-Gi-Oh! players. At last we will have revenge."
As an Action: Destroy target Thing, then its controller chooses a Thing you don't control. Destroy that Thing.
As a Thing: Whenever another Thing would be destroyed by an Action, destroy a random Thing.
A Change of Seasons
As an Action: Each player starting with you discards all but one card then draws the same number.
As a Thing: Put a Season counter on this at the end of your turn.
Action: Remove four Season counters from this to discard your hand and draw five cards.
Invoke the Firemind
Until the end of the turn, whenever you draw a card you may destroy a Thing.
You may play an extra Action this turn.
When a wizard's mind reaches its limit, nothing new can be learned unless something is first expelled. There are some who have weaponized this...
Choose one - target player discards three cards, then draws a card; or, destroy target intangible Thing.
"You're so LAME, you can encode MP3s."
This Thing Explodes If You Touch It
When this Thing is targeted by an effect, destroy it and a random Thing you don't control.
Lost Not Forgotten
Choose any number of cards in the discard pile and shuffle them into the deck.
Draw a card.
We Do Not Approve
Choose a player. Each other player except you may destroy a Thing that player controls.
In and Out
Put target Thing you control into your hand.
You may play an additional Thing this turn.
At any time, you may discard a card to put Warp Hopper into your hand.
Thing - Pony
When Applejack enters play, put an Apple token into play.
Action: Put an Apple token into play for each Apple token you control.
Action: Draw a card for each Apple token you control.
If at the beginning of your turn you have no cards in your hand and no other things in play, then instead of drawing a card you may win the game.
Om tat sat
Whenever a card is put into your hand, if you didn't draw it, draw a card.
"Sweet, a diamond! And it's surrounded by a bunch of nickels. That's kind of cool too, I guess." -- Jimmy the Treasure Hunter
Whenever you make a pun you haven't made this game that is related to the game, put a pun counter on Punglasses.
At the beginning of your turn, if there are five or more pun counters on Punglasses, you win the game.
Look at target opponent's hand and choose a card from it. That player guesses which card you chose, then reveals that card. If that player guessed wrong, destroy all Things he or she controls.
U may be mad, but u can't fathom how mad the troll is.
Any number of target players discard a card. Each player who didn't discard a card this way draws a card.
Whenever an opponent plays a Thing, you may roll a d6. On a 5, destroy that Thing when it enters play. On a 6, it enters play under your control.
Whenever you roll a die, you may discard a card to reroll it.
Shuffle target Thing and each Thing with the same title into the deck. A random player draws a card and plays it.
Side effects may include unforeseen side effects.