This Is Caketown!
Return target Thing to its controller's hand.
Generate a random number from 1 to 100. Go to the Superpower set of the Infinite Dvorak Deck and create a copy of the card of that number and place it in your hand. On a 100, you are eliminated.
At the beginning of your turn, destroy a random thing. Its controller may discard a random card to prevent its destruction, unless this was the thing destroyed.
Create a Cowbell Token for each player.
You may play this Thing under any player's control. Action: Destroy a Thing belonging to the controller of Saboteur. Any player may play this Action.
Andrew's Lucky Die
Whenever dice are rolled, you decide the outcome.
You may shuffle the draw pile at any time.
Even if it isn't your turn. Even if players are trying to search the draw pile for a card.
Nude at the Airport
Play with your hand revealed. You may play up to two things per turn.
If there is another Thing in play, immediately destroy Antimatter and any other Thing of your choice. When this occurs, gain 10 Energy Tokens.
Suspend your turn. A player of your choice takes a turn. Then, your turn resumes where it left off.
Play in response to someone winning the game. Nobody besides you can win this turn. Anyone else who would win instead loses a Thing of your choice or discards a card at random from eir hand.
Destroy a Thing under every player's control which was not one of the first 500 cards added to the Infinite Dvorak deck.
Capture the Flag
Whenever a Thing is destroyed, the player whose turn it is gains control of Capture the Flag. If you control Capture the Flag at the start of your turn, and have five or more cards in your hand, you win the game.
Doom Token Device
At the beginning of your turn, or immediately after playing this card, create 2 Electricity Tokens. Electricity tokens allow you to play an extra machine for every 5 electricity tokens on the field.
If you draw this card, you must play it at the next available opportunity. All opponents may draw enough cards to fill their hands.
All players choose someone at the table to vote for (They may not vote for themselves). The player with the most votes may choose if each player can draw a card next turn. In a tie, destroy this card and prevent all effects of this card.
Thing - Partycle
At the beginning of your turn you may destroy this card and put a copy of Election from the Infinite Dvorak Deck Archive into your hand.
Massive, major component of hot air. Lots of spin.
The Decline and Fall of the Mighty Culture of NguNbuLe
At the beginning of your turn erase the last sentence on this card. Indestructible.
Action: Target opponent discards a card.
Action: Take a Thing from the discard pile in your hand.
Action: Destroy target Thing.
Action and Thing: Erase target Thing's first sentence.
Fancy Sentence-Erasing Machine
Action: Erase target Thing's last sentence. You may not erase a Thing's first sentence this way.
Can you spot the loophole?
Nude at the Train Station
Play with your hand revealed. At the beginning of your turn you may draw an extra card.
For each word that appears in the title of more than one non-token Thing, destroy all Things with that word in their title.
Whenever a player draws a card, they must reveal it to all players.
Block the Door
Thing cards may not be played. Any player may discard a Thing to destroy this card, at any time.
Action: Gain control of target female.
Action: Gain control of target male.
Action: Gain control of target undead or animal.
Buy One Get One Free
If you put a Thing into play earlier this turn, create a copy of it and put that into play.
Whenever an opponent plays a card, you may discard three cards (if you have them) to send it to the discard pile with no effect.
Better the Devil
Draw and reveal five cards. Discard two of them. An opponent picks one of the remaining ones, which you must play immediately; the final two are discarded.
Hyperdimensional World-Eating Blackhole
Whenever a Thing is removed from the game, draw a card and remove target thing from the game.
Once it gets started, there's no turning back.
At the beginning of your turn, before drawing a card, you may look at the top three cards of the draw pile and rearrange their order, if you wish so.
Action: Gain control of target spirit.
Every player may use this Thing's abilities.
Action: Draw the top card of the discard pile.
Action: Give a player a thing you control and draw a card.
Do Not Touch
If an action's only target is this card, then the action's player is eliminated.
Ha Ha Ha! I Switched Your Bullets With Marshmallows!
Play in response to an action. That action is negated and goes to your hand. Give its player an action from your hand; they must play that card instead.
I may have just won "First Correctly-Used Semicolon".
Play this card after any player's turn. The next player's turn is skipped.
Thing - Add-on
Play this on a Thing in play. The target Thing now belongs to all players, and all may use any abilities of the Thing equally. This add-on is destroyed when the base Thing is destroyed
Thanks for sharing :)
Whenever you have more cards in your hand than every other player, destroy this Thing.
Action: The player (or players) with the most cards in his or her (or their) hand (or hands) discards a card.
The Spectral Pickle Factory
At the start of your turn or when you play this card, flip a coin. Tails: return this card to the hand of the player on your left.
Action: Draw three cards.
None may know the hour of its coming and going.
Motorcade of Generosity
Each player may create any number of tokens of any type of his or her choice under the control of any other player.
...and that's how you can afford your rock and roll lifestyle.
Whenever a specific amount of tokens is required, it requires twice as many.
Whenever a player gains tokens, they gain half as many, rounding up.
You may use tokens you control as though they were any type of token.
Currency of the Realm
Any type of token may be substituted when monetary tokens are required at a rate of 1 token per Money or Universal Currency token or 10 tokens per Gold token.
Hot In Here
Hand size limit 3. Actions must be played as soon as they are drawn.
All Good Things
Action: Destroy target Thing that has been in play for five turns or more.
It's Morphin' Time!
You cannot play this card if you control fewer than six Things. Put six Things you control into the draw pile and shuffle it. Take the top six Things from the draw pile and put them under your control. This card's colour can be black, red, blue, yellow, green or pink. You must declare its colour when you play it.
Once this card has been in play for four turns, the player who controls the most Thing cards that represent tangible objects wins the game.
Erase the text of target mechanical or electronic Thing.
"Down with the cotton gin!"
Every player with less than five cards in their hand may draw until they have five cards. The player who controls the most non-token Things may then look at every opponent's hand and take a card from each.
Destroy every Thing that is not referenced by its own ruletext.
Life Is But A Dream
Discard your hand, destroy all of your Things, and walk away from the game singing "Row Row Row Your Boat". You win.
Destroy at the begining of your turn. All Action abilities that destroy, create a token of the type they normally would destroy instead.
When this comes into play destroy all undead tokens.
Instead of owner useing the discard pile place your discards under the Unclean One, when he leaves play cards under unclean one go to your hand.
"Dude, that's just gross."
This card has all texts of all Things currently in play.
You may play this under an opponent's control. At the beginning of your turn you gain n indigestion tokens, where n is the total number of Things your opponents could have played, but did NOT play during their last turn. If you control six indigestion tokens, your belly explodes and you are eliminated. Action: Flush: Remove target Thing other than this from the game.
At the beginning of your turn, you may create a copy of this card.
Action: Destroy target ant or small insect.
"I'm sorry, it's still only one inch tall."
Mutilate The Bodies
Cards that would be destroyed are removed from the game instead. Zombie tokens cannot be generated.
Attack Of The Mutant Taste Buds
Destroy all things with flavortext.
The Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch
Action: Destroy this card to remove target thing from the game.
...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy."
Reality TV Tribe Switch
Order players by number of Things controlled, high to low, breaking ties by rock-scissors-paper. All Things now in play are redistributed by players in order choosing a Thing and placing it in play under their own control. All effects of the Things coming into play occur again.
Pick up your new buffs.
Playable on another player. Owner cannot control any undead.
if there is a money token on Credit market everybody at the beginning of their turns creates a money token. Otherwise every turn everybody must destroy a money token, and destroy a money token for every card with action abilities if able. Action: Create a money token. Action: Destroy a money token.
Destroy this card at the beginning of your turn.
When this comes into play, destroy all zombie tokens.
When this leaves play create a zombie token for each one destroyed previously.
Vodka is Good, Meat is Rotten
Choose a Thing with ruletext in (near enough) English. Input the Thing's ruletext into an internet translater, to translate into another language (chosen by this card's player). Take that text and have in translated back into English, and replace the original ruletext with the result.
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
Action: Create a Final Fantasy n Token, where n is one higher than the current number of Final Fantasy tokens in play.
If you control the most recent Final Fantasy, you win.
Roll a die and subtract 2. Draw that many cards, play that many extra actions, and play that many things.
On a -1, instead skip your next turn.
On a 4 (that's a 6), Epoch Fail! You are eliminated.
Wrath of Britain
Destroy all things which have titles that contain a R that would not be pronounced by someone with a British Accent.
Draw 3 cards and play them in order.
Thing:Put a Token with a name of your choice into play.
Destroy a Thing. For every word in that Thing's name, its former controller gains a token with that word as its name and type.
Red Ring of Death
Play into the control of any player. That player may not use the Action abilities of their Things.
Draw three cards if you control more non-token Things than any other player.
You may not be eliminated, and no opponent may win the game.
Play onto a Thing with an Action ability. That Thing is indestructible, but it cannot use its Action ability.
Pick a random subsection of the Infinite Dvorak Deck and a random number from 1 to 100. Create copies of the card of that number and the four after it (1 is after 100) and shuffle them into the deck.
Put target living thing in your hand.
Is This Your Card?
Play in response to any chance event.
The result of that event is the Three of Clubs.
Discard a random card? More like Discard the Three of Clubs.
This thing is immaterial and cannot be destroyed.
"Dude, you're out geeking the geeks" -JS
So simple a caveman could do it
Remove all Reptile related cards from play. While your at it destroy all cards with more than 3 lines of rules text.
There's a distinction between destroy and remove from game -Zt
Play in response to any action. Try to convince the player their action doesn't do anything.
".. And that's what I should have said" CRSE
Not Quite Dead
Put a Thing into play from the discard pile. Use its Action ability once (if it has one), then destroy it.
Action: Place 1 mod token on this card.
Action (Global): Place 1 raid token on this card.
Action: Copy this card.
Recieve 10/n where n = (number of raid tokens on this card - number of mod tokens) money tokens each turn. n cannot go below 1.
Pool's closed due to AIDS.
Action: Draw and discard cards until you draw a living Thing. You may either discard it, or put it into play replacing a living Thing (which is destroyed). Any player may use this Action ability.
An Orderly Queue
A player can only play a card if they reveal their hand first, and that card's title is the alphabetically earliest in their hand.
We're All Liars On The Internet
Shuffle as many cards as you wish from your hand into the draw pile and draw an equal number of cards.
Your hand size limit alternates on every turn between 8 cards and 3, and you may play alternately 3 cards or 1. Action: Draw a card and create an Energy token. Action: Destroy three Energy tokens and destroy this card.
You may play any mechanical or science-related Thing or activate any such Thing's Action ability at no cost to your per-turn limits.
When this comes into play, destroy up to four Things controlled by an opponent. At the start of each of your turns, destroy a Thing you control (other than this one).
Must be in control of a food item to play. When played in response to being Eliminated, all other players are eliminated instead. When played in response to one of you things being destroyed, Destroy all of the triggering opponents things instead.
Destroy a money token to use action ability.
Action: Flip a coin if heads destroy a living thing.
I never said he was any good, just available
Draw four cards pick whose turn is next
Corner value in Spanish
Nuclear Weapons Programme
When this comes into play, destroy all other Things you control, and discard your hand. Action: Destroy all Things belonging to a chosen opponent. You may not play this Action the turn that this card comes into play.
Disable all aggressive cards for the next turn.
Disable all aggressive cards of a player of your choice for the next three turns.
For every Insanity token in play, your hand size is reduced by one. Action: Destroy a Thing other than this one, and put an Insanity token into play.
Look at an opponent's hand, and force them to discard any number of cards for it. For each card discarded in this way, they may draw two cards.
Everybody is making cards about Crime and Drug Abuse and Sex and who thinks about the children?!
Whenever a player swears, she is eliminated. If you control three moral tokens, you win.
Action: Remove target black or undead Thing from the game. If you do, gain a moral token.
Whenever this card is targeted, you draw a card and a random Thing is targeted instead.